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A sister friend shared this with me and it made my day.

R.I.P. my brother. You will be missed

. Updated 10/20/07

Get well soon Travis, we love you.

Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine,
after the rain ....

Perhaps you may stumble,
perhaps even fall,
But God's always ready,
To answer your call ...

He knows every heartache,
sees every tear,
A word from His lips,
can calm every fear ...

Your sorrows may linger,
throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish,
in dawn's early light ...

The Savior is waiting,
somewhere above,
To give you His grace,
and send you His love ..

Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
"God always sends rainbows .
after the rain ... "

TICK TOCK!

As the clock ticks, the silence around us grows louder and louder as the tick intensifies and I wonder what awaits me as the day goes by. Each day comes with its own surprises, either good or bad and we have some part that we play in how everything works out but the major part is played by God, or fate or destiny if you prefer. We can make certain decisions in that split second that change our lives forever, for good or bad. It sounds unfair that people should pay the consequences for the rest of their lives and beyond for a decision that took a second to make.
The code a man lives by defines him, forever strong it stands, no matter what comes, who we are, helps us deal with whatever hand life deals us. In the blink of an eye everything can change and the person you thought you were could vanish to be replaced by a stranger who either scares you or makes you proud. Depending on how resilient you discover you are, these hardships are what help define us, when they push us to what we thought was our limit, how we come out on the other side helps us understand that the limit is not set in stone but can be adjusted accordingly.
The eyes are the key to the soul, as ‘they’ say. What do people see when they try to look inside and find all those hidden parts of you that you don’t even know exist? I know we can hide whatever we want to hide and people can look without ever discovering those chambers of darkness camouflaged by good.
There are smoking mirrors everywhere, illusions.. that sometimes protect and guard us against the enemy, even from ourselves or fool everyone around us to think we are something we are not.
The tangled web we weave around us gets more and more complicated each day, as we live and interact with each other, we pull others into our web or we keep our secrets inside and no one can penetrate our fortress.
Have an awesome weekend everyone.

In other news, our sweetie doesn’t get deployed until Jan. 08. Thank you Lord for the extra months at home :-)

The Bitter taste of betrayal

Written by my guest blogger EMW. Thank you dear :-)

Enter Vince. Perfect all consummate man, who is just revealed his dirty little secret to the love of his life, Allegra...

The question she posed carried even more weight than the box of junk he carried downstairs the night before, resting squarely on his conscience. He suspected the next one would carry even greater weight, "was it good", she pursed the words through her lips, which he could barely hear through her clenched teeth. "Tell me Vince-was she fucking great?". The air around him felt like a boiler, 100 degrees and counting. His sweat glands dribbled to the surface. Images conjured up in his mind. Hanna's scent… The steam from the hot shower scalding against his skin. Both their skins.
"Come on Vince, you've gotta say something! Anything, or are you still soaking
her up", her voice rising with each syllable. "You can't ask me that"
"And why can't I?", you're the one messing up this relationship by sleeping
with someone else, so if you hadn’t done it, I wouldn't have to ask it", declared Allegra. "Ok. No she wasn't. Obviously not?"
"Don't lie to me Vince", as she edged closer waving the accusing finger. "Don't freaking lie to me".
"Please hon, I just told you. It just happened once...and.....we were both drunk...and", he stuttered, feeling the pressure to reveal everything yet
cautious to not set off the ticking time bomb that was her emotions. "Stop swallowing the truth Vince. Just say it. You slept with her for the entire weekend and you loved every minute of it and now I'm going to tell my naive loving girlfriend, who's by the way is going to forgive me and kiss me and tell me that all men make stupid silly mistakes which should not ruin our perfect drama-free life", chimed Allegra ,with a falsetto mocking tone,
"you just had it all planned out didn't you?"
"Now just wait a minute.."
No longer had he started giving his rebuttal when he watched her eyes well up, tears slid down her cheeks like the trickle of morning rain against the clear glass of the window. He made an attempt to reach out to her, but she threw a fit, her arms waving him off, as she backed into the porcelain jar by the cabinet. It did a slight jig, left ,right, lingered for a second then tumbled over as it smashed on the cold hard concrete.
"Shit!shit!shit!", she cursed, " look what you made me do".
It lay in pieces, spreading out into the kitchen. She hesitated for a moment, holding her hair back against her head.
"I'll go get something to clean it off", offered Vince.
"No Vince-forget it. I'll clean up the mess myself.....this whole fucking mess". Vince in tuned on the last expletive as referring to the relationship that was about to crumble. She took a moment to compose herself. The silence made it stretch out, for what seemed like an eternity. Vince knew he wanted to apologize a million times over, perhaps to make her believe how sorry and heavily it weighed on him. But he feared, because he now did not know what to expect. How she would react or whether it would make her emotions spiral out of control. She finally gave him a look, and looked at him deep. She felt the turmoil rise within her, suffocating her ability to reason, make a conscionable effort to listen to his silly excuses and anything he would offer in the form of an apology. She felt the stuffiness around her face, the flush of redness envelope her cheeks.
"I can't do this now", as she wiped the stream of tears around her chicks.
"Not here. Not today Vince. I just need you to leave......now".
This is what he feared.
"Please honey, just listen, just for a second', continued Vince. He felt his heart race, yearning to break free from its host: to escape the guilt that swelled within his insides, choking on the words to express his pitiful remorse.
"No Vince. You just feel different. This whole thing feels different. I thought about this happening to Nancy or Louise, but not me. I never thought you would do this to me. You are just not the same person I knew an hour ago. Please don't make this any harder than it should be", as she took a couple of steps away from him, cautiously treading on the debris. She reached for the door and flung it wide open.
"Please leave right now.......just go."
The moment fastened within his mind. He thought about life and the many doors he felt himself getting pushed through, but never did he imagine it would come to this; getting pushed through this one, by the one person he cared about with all his heart. He feared what it meant. Whether the world and all its worries and troubles would swallow him up, together with the pain he brought to her and the guilt he was about to lug with him. He took one last look at her and realized that each second that passed with him in her presence, the more pain he registered in her eyes. He felt the weight of the imaginary duffel bags around his ankles as he took his first few steps closer to the abyss, into the world where liars and unfaithful men trod the
earth, lost and searching for redemption.
He stole one more glance as he passed by her, the wetness of her blushed cheeks almost palpable. She looked at him one more time, then turned away, as though she would turn into a pillar of salt if she held it any longer. The air of betrayal suffocated any hope to make her realize how sorry he was, and she felt weak to entertain it. No sooner had he stepped out on the patio, did the door slam behind him, followed by the muffled, intermittent sobs from within. He could now feel the pain pierce his insides. He hated seeing her cry, but this time it burned because he was the one that had caused it all.
He stood there on the front porch, recalling the exchange that was a minute ago. The chill in the air was unwelcoming. The oak trees on her front yard, standing tall, firm, Impenetrable, representing everything that he wasn't. It was unusually windy. He watched the rippling effect of the tiny air pockets carry up the leaves and everything in their paths, scattered in places that felt strange and unwelcoming. Places that he himself did not want to go, but possibly had to reside. The reality that was, this was the life without her.
He rubbed his palms together and hesitantly made his way through the wind, reviewing everything in his mind. How it happened. She didn't even give him a chance to make his case.
But the damage had been done and things would never be the same between them........

Sound

Time is like sound, missed most when its not there anymore

Be good M.

I was traveling at the speed of sound, not knowing where I was going but rushing through life like there was a fire behind me. Wandering aimlessly, not exactly looking where I was going until I crashed into something, I remember the sound, the sound of a “wake up call”, the sound of a heart breaking into little pieces! Then came the excruciating pain and the disaster that follows after a serious crash.
Is this where I am supposed to be at this exact moment? I can’t help but think that I needed something to open my eyes and force me to slow down, it was a downhill race at a very high speed, death defying stunts included of course. I must say the crash could have been worse, but did it have to happen at this exact moment?.
There are all kinds of things going on around me and I am consumed by the things I see and what I feel inside. I do not want to open my eyes to see what the damage is because I know once I see, I will not be able to look away. I have to concentrate on getting up and on finding out exactly where I am. Am I lost? The panic starts to come slowly but surely, what did I crash into? Am I alone? Are there any survivors? AM I DEAD? Oh, my God! Now this is the panic that shatters everything, I cannot stand, I cannot breath, I cannot feel myself, am I even there???
This thing, whatever it is, is all consuming and I am in this other world by myself it seems and whatever it is I crashed into. Could I have been traveling in my mind and not literally as I thought or was I in a train that crashed? I remember seeing everything going by, really, really fast…
I now hear the echo from a distance and I don’t know if I should hide or wait and find out what is coming towards me, on the other hand it could be the effects of the aftershock.
I hear the resonating sound get closer and louder, and then my eyes open and I am exactly where I want to be, unharmed and smiling 
The human heart and mind can sometimes be fickle, the emotions attached unreliable but it sure beats logic that they are the strongest things sometimes!…

Wishes

This is dedicated to you, MMW.

I wish I was in control, I wish I was in charge. I know the Lord watches over us and I trust that He is in control and there is no one I would trust with you more than Him. It just shatters my heart that I do not have a say in destiny or don’t even know what the future will bring. Is it wrong to want to linger over a few meals and keroro of course and go out together and know at the end of the day I will hear you walk upstairs with a funny story on your lips or a crazy idea?
Have you ever had the floor you were standing on yanked from right under you, that’s the way I have been feeling for the last week since you told me and that must be a small fraction of what you feel my dear. We will stand together, even when apart and we will be fine and protected by powers way beyond us.
This illusion of safety, that we had for so long is what bothers me, for so long we thought everything was fine and stable and now…. I have something stuck in my throat and it feels like an ocean of tears is about to flood in but I have to be strong, because I have to be strong for us all.
The armor that is our love will withstand whatever comes our way, I have faith that time will pass quickly and in no time, you’ll be back here, WHOLE.
As we stand on the brink of despair, we must go to our stronghold and hang tight and gather all weapons we have from our memory bank especially and count on that. Together we will stand even with deserts between us, even as the forces beyond our control separate us, WE WILL STAND!
Go with God and our love, right behind you, right beside you, inside you, infront of you, all around you.