Why me?

Love chose me, as much as I tried to run away from it and hide, it found me and consumed me totally. I spent days on end scheming and trying to come up with ways to change my fate but it was all in vain, love had me by the chokehold and there was nothing I could do.
Sleepless night after sleepless night and it refused to set me free, I was in captivity with no hope of a savior, “why me, why me” I cried! But alas! There was no answer.
I catch myself dancing even after the music has stopped and it takes a conscious effort not to sway to the sweet, sweet sounds that are playing in my head and heart, they have taken a hold of me and I find myself laughing for no specific reason, being extremely content even when things are not going my way.
I want to reach out and touch this magic that surrounds me but I am afraid to interfere with the web of love that has been spun around me, is this all nothing but a dream? Will I wake up and find that all these beautiful moments are conjured in my mind? Projections of what my heart seeks, hallucinations of the heart?
I now understand what Judy Garland meant when she said, “I heard you whisper into my heart and in turn you kissed my soul”, what profound words, they more than adequately describe that moment when my lover touches every part of me with magic that cannot be put down into words.
Thoughts are always running around in my head… trying to make head or tail of them is the hard part and I love pondering on thought provoking questions like the one below and that my friends; fuels my life, please take a minute even if you’ve heard this question before.
Question : If you were going to die tomorrow and had only one phone call to make, who would you call and what would you say? What are you waiting for then?
I should probably stay and find out what tomorrow will hold for me, I like the spell that has been cast around me, what’s the point of living if at this moment it was all for naught? Somebody famously said, “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving all pretty and preserved, but rather to skid on the broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming.. ‘WOW’! what a ride!”. That is how I want to go out…. With a bang :-)
One last morbid thought, its sweet though so it really shouldn’t count against me, Benito Perez Galdoz once said, “I believe if I should die, and you were to walk near my grave, from the very depths of the earth I would hear your footsteps”

Have an awesome weekend, Happy Memorial day weekend to y’all. Live it up..

Best wishes,

Sunny

The Mind

The mind is amazing, with all its complexities utterly mindblowing, how can one small part control such a big portion of what we are, what path we follow in the course of life? What we do become eventually?
L.T. Holdcroft famously said, “Life is a grindstone but whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us”. I believe that a big part of that lies in the mind. We choose to accept circumstances or fight what has been handed to us or better yet make whatever comes our way work out for us. So how come some people succeed easily while others have to work ten times as hard as the rest? Is it the support system around us, the environment or some just have a superior mastery of their minds?
The marines say that of all the weapons they master, the mind is the most powerful one and that is why I believe that it is possible to overcome every obstacle because with the right tools like self discipline, toughness and confidence then we are natural winners in every way.
I believe that in this case practice makes perfect, being positive every day and looking out for the best in each situation without being too naïve of course!
I love their motto; ‘the few, the proud, the marines’ and I’d like to take a moment to remember our brother out there (Kenneth ‘Sweetie’ Jayala) who’s out there fighting for this country. We love you very much and we miss you dearly.
The mind helps us come face to face with our weaknesses when we simply refuse to fail, of course there are many barriers in life and we will get knocked down, we just must keep getting up every single time. When things go wrong then we should take that as the opportunity to discover exactly what we are made of and how strong we are. Ambrose redmoon said that “courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. I also love how Mark Twain phrased it, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not the absence of fear. Knowing that yes, we are afraid but we must overcome”. I believe that fear is that demon that we must over power, someone cleverly said that FEAR was False Evidence Appearing Real!
We must master our mind in order to suceed, as it was famously said “it isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out, it’s the grain of sand in your shoe”, basically if we let other forces stand in our way we are responsible for holding ourselves back and not taking advantage of every opportunity offered to us.
Do all emotions originate from the mind to the heart to finally manifest themselves into actions? Martin Luther King, JR said that “Love is the only force powerful enough to change an enemy into a friend”, what powerful words! As it has been pointed out to me, I love to write about love but nothing describes it better than these words I read, “Love means to love that which is unlovable or it is no virtue at all, forgiving means to pardon that which is unpardonable or it is no virtue at all”. How true and how noble, so here we go – do we truly love those we claim to love? That’s why there’s so much joy ..” in feeling that God knows all and not withstanding loves us still” for those that believe.
If we do our best I doubt that we’ll fail, we must remember that there is always hope and better things awaiting us, after all “what a caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly”.

Have a fabulous day :-) and look out for “Love chose me”

PACT

4 on 4 all the way :-)

~Signed in blood~

BBQ hanye weekend

- Scarlett's house warming bbq started on a very high note... yet again, "us or the keroro"
- Dannny boy, Scarlett & I at the car wash, Scarlett going crazy, "kid in a candy store style" and Dani calling us shades.. shame shame shame :-)
- Sunny marking her territory with the jersey, pointing & saying "you & I - tonight" Thanks Scarlett LMAO
- Am in love with a stripper... 'egxited' I'll f*** u too LMFAORRL
- Scarlett pulling to the bush then blacking out.
- Bartender Jeff hooking it up at club v2o all night yeah baby.
- Refusing to leave the hanye after they closed and befriending the cops Dan & Ken and hugging them although they aren't supposed to hug civilians.
- Sammie & Sunny happening to Ricardo at the stop light LOL
- Zach jumping out of a moving vehicle to salimia peeps
- Scarlett pimping me to Zach WAT!
- Kyd Bro's bling (notable mention)
- Hungriez at the after party trying to take peeps home with them RESIST!
- Tweety's car being broken into and getting stuff stolen, so sorry dear :-(
- Scarlett happening outside the police station.
- Pampas grill, that dish was too reydi, thanks I

CHILLIN'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANDY 'HONEY'

A kinda chilled out weekend but we still managed to make it fun..
- Singing 'am not sober odiero, am not sober' in PB
- Peeps happening to some lose chap on the st. "show us yours, we'll show you ours", Response : "come closer and I'll let you hold it for me" sick LOL
- Chugging drinks at Pico Lanai without ice, quite harsh if I must say!
- Candy actually celebrating her own birthday :-)
- S. Dipping at pico lanai after the hanye LMAO
- Ug & Eggs before bed.
- Arafa & I happening at the Indian restaurant the next morning until the waiter played us "eti we've run out of Millers" HOW?

SUNRISE

The sun rises up at dawn, to a new day; a day of hope
On the wings of a snow white dove, lies eternal hope and bliss
The night might be dark and forbodding but the sky is velvet in the night
With hopes that cannot be denied, a better day is borne out of gloom
I will soar up on wings like an eagle and grasp what’s left of the day
Before it evaporates and sinks into the ravines where my dreams were crushed
Even in the pits of despair, I still hang on and hope for salvation
My innocence was taken from me but the memories and lessons are forever!
Although sadness may loom in me, joy will burst forth in time
As the sunshine rays on a good morning, the fountain of joy will bubble forth
As the wind blows the chaff away, may it blow over me and take all oppression
May a fresh start be bestowed on me to leave me strong and smiling
Now the warmth teases me like the first day of summer
Thawing away the snow in my heart and chasing away the cold
I cannot stand aside and watch the beauty outside with such ugly thoughts inside
The storm rises up and the thunder rolls in my memories
I now anticipate the new day, all seems serene around me
The turmoil in my heart is well camouflaged but the thirst for love is unquencheable
Am I courageous or strong enough to look forward to the new beginnings
To new horizons up ahead, to forget and leave behind the past?
Have the tears of sadness and joy merged to give me new hope?
Was my heart worth the gamble? Was all the energy lost for no reason
Or am I scared for life will never be the same again?
I now hear the bird chirp on the new day and I have a good feeling as I wait…
I want all the sadness to ebb out like surf on the shore and receed like the old man’s hairline
Am I really that happy or is it an illusion?
I will chase my ever elusive dream, I refuse to give up and I will continue to dream!
I want the sweet sound that was my laughter not that hollow sound that now comes out!
Shadows stand outside the window of my heart and I want to look outside but I am afraid
My heart might bleed again but I will love.
I feel the wind on my back as it whistles by me in a rush
In the quiet night I hear a lonely heart cry out but no one’s there
Sounds like life is being choked out and I have to lead the heart to its safe haven
I know that the rain will come and wash away all the sorrows
This fierce love with conquer all my fears and hope shall return
And I shall awaken to the sun filled sky and my heart will unfold and embrace life
And the sun will RISE again

Vegas experience May 2006

I am sure that I will forget lots of fun things that happened and many will be relieved because their scandalous adventures won't be on these pages but otherwise holla and I will add whatever should be here and isn't.
We had a fantastic time is all I can say, a toast to 'Friendship and all good things'. As I read recently "Love is the only force powerful enough to transform an enemy into a friend", what profound words... thank you Dr. M. L. King.

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR GRADUATION OWINO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMMIE!

- Hitting up the airport bar as usual and taking ‘sourveniers’
- Major keroro on the flights there, us (Blossom, Sammie & Sunny) with the ‘ginger ale’ and Sig & Candy with the cranberry juice, more like grape cordial LOL
- Sig and Candy changing on the plane in efforts not to miss the hanye LOL
- Candy and her ka shampoo vibe and Sammie insisting its her hands not her hair
- Candy spinning at the dinner table and lifting her head to verify that she was spinning
- Candy happening to the side of the car, hence the shampoo vibe later
- Sammie telling her to somehow close her mouth if she’s going to cough like that!
- Sig taking a nap after we got to the house but waking up for shots!
- Blossom & Candy fighting in the back seat and Sig & Sunny taking over the ginger ale and leaving them outside to finish the fight while we got ready and the two happening to the neighbors door.
- All drinking activities confined to the kitchen and drinking the wine from the sink incase a single drop poured on the ‘white’ house!
- Hanyeing at the pink pony, Thursday night until 4am and the drama involved with our room
- Candy calling out to Blossom.. “honey, Blossom honey.. “ over & over
- Candy deciding that she didn’t want to wear her shoes (twice) and being asked to by casino & hanye bouncers 
- Someone happening until the bouncer told her to get off the rails….
- DJ being really nice at Rain amidst all the confusing fire, fog & rain!
- This chap pointing at Sig struggling to get Candy to the car and asking his friend “dude, aren’t you glad that I am not drunk like that?”
- The whole ‘grandma’ vibe with Sig about to ‘smack a b.’ yet grandma wanted her, thank goodness she bought drinks.. after Sammie gave her a ‘kasomething’ to remember LOL
- Vowing that it was “Sunny or the keroro”
- People finding it necessary to advertise bud to us and feeling obliged to let us know that all energy drinks had bull sperm, thanks Sig for getting the guy interested in that vibe.. we now at least know the origins .. taurine has bull sperm (hope its not true) and Sunny interjecting that when we had a half calf/half human child offspring then we’d know the authenticity of the claim LOL
- Asking for a sample shot of Casadores tequilla (monsta)
- Enjoying a ka happy hour at the buffalo wings place.. interesting napkins e.g “ Dear _____, It’s not you, it’s me. My tastes have changed and I just wanna keep my options open” DEM
- Our host feeling the need to warn us that we were drinking too much after we thought we’d chilled wat!
- Taking Terrell Owens (TO) photo and the way his buddy was blocking!
- Mystery explained ..

when girls drink too much, we yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just cranberry juice But! Alas! That's just because we can no longer taste the vodka

.
- Refusing to leave Rain cos the hanye was happening and the ‘short boy’ & ‘white boy’ vibes
- The drama involved with us boarding just to find that there was no space for our suitcases
- Lots of turbulence taking off and chugging our drinks because we had to land !
- Meeting Bill on the flight home and his awesome ideas on ordering doubles incase the stewardess doesn’t make it back – right on point Bill, I guess experience from State?
- Bill pushing on Blossom’s chair and pretending it was me, great flight.
- Meeting the guy we’d met at the hanye(Rain) at Ontario airport and pretending we didn’t know him considering that Blossom had grilled him on how straight he was
- Landing and ‘lying’ to Shanton that we’d checked the shuttle prices
- Nico & Meynah locking Shanton up in the beer freezer at Albertson’s until he threatened to start pinting!
- Mami hooking it up ‘big baller’ style with endless keroro
- Mami & Meynah struggling to pour a shot at Conne’s and finally attacking the drinks with a vengeance
- Scarlett walking into the glass door
- Meynah & Nico fighting and Conne having to intervene after Sammie & Scarlett were thrown down
- Scarlett screaming that it was so much fun, like a rodeo and waking up the next day asking why her entire side was hurting!
- Scarlett on the hunt and asking ‘kwani what are peeps supposed to do ama turn on each other’
- Mission : Find Scarlett’s car
- Blossom trying on the "Top Gun" digagaz at Shanton’s (Blossom, there, u happy now?)
- Suggestions about opening Jack Bauer’s school of counter terrorism!
- Working on a whole bottle of vod & another of the screwdriver
- Hanyeing at Dynamite after getting home ‘too early’

Bailey's Jesus

I Love, love the way this story is told so I simply had to share :-)

Written by Ginger LaGrone Tucker at www.gingertucker.com

From; Dancing on Daddy's Feet and Other Stories of God's Love


BAILEY'S JESUS

God recently allowed me to see Jesus through the eyes of someone seeing Him for the first time. Having the advantage of knowing how the story ends, we can easily forget the cost of our redemption and the love of our Savior. Every year we attend a local church pageant at Christmas time, which tells the story of Jesus from His birth through His resurrection. It is a spectacular event, with live animals and hundreds of cast members in realistic costumes. The magi enter the huge auditorium on llamas from the rear, descending the steps in pomp and majesty. Roman soldiers look huge and menacing in their costumes and makeup.

Of all the years we have attended, one stands out indelibly in my heart. It was the year we took our then three-year-old granddaughter, Bailey, who loves Jesus. She was mesmerized throughout the entire play, not just watching, but involved as if she were a player. She watches as Joseph and Mary travel to the Inn and is thrilled when she sees the, baby Jesus in His mother's arms. When Jesus, on a young donkey, descends the steps from the back of the auditorium, depicting His triumphal entry in Jerusalem, Bailey was, ecstatic. As he neared our aisle, Bailey began jumping up and down, screaming, "Jesus, Jesus! There's Jesus!" Not just saying the words but exclaiming them with every fiber of her being. She alternated between screaming his name and hugging us. "It's Jesus. Look!" I thought she might actually pass out. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at Jesus through the eyes of a child in love with Him, seeing Him for the first time. How like the blind beggar screaming out in reckless abandon, "Jesus, Jesus!", afraid he might miss Him, not caring what others thought. (Mark 10:46-52)

This was so much fun. Then came the arrest scene. On stage, the soldiers shoved and slapped Jesus as they moved Him from the Garden of Gethsemane to Pilate. Bailey responded as if she were in the crowd of women, with terror and anger. "Stop it!" she screamed. "Bad soldiers, stop it!" As I watched her reaction, I wished we had talked to her before the play. "Bailey it's OK. They are just pretending.""They are hurting Jesus! Stop it!" She stood in her seat reacting to each and every move. People around us at first smiled at her reaction, thinking "How cute!". Then they quit smiling and began watching her watch Him. In a most powerful scene, the soldiers lead Jesus carrying the cross down the steps of the auditorium from the back They were yelling, whipping, and cursing at Jesus, who was bloodied and beaten. Bailey was now hysterical. "Stop it! Soldiers! Stop it," she screamed. She must have been wondering why all these people did nothing. She then began to cry instead of scream. "Jesus, Oh, Jesus!"

People all around us began to weep as we all watch this devoted little disciple see her Jesus beaten and killed as those first century disciples had. Going back and forth between her mother's lap and mine for comfort, she was distraught. I kept saying, "Bailey, it's OK. Jesus is going to be OK. These are just people pretending to be soldiers. She looked at me like I was crazy. In my lap, we talked through the cross and burial. "Watch, Bailey, watch for Jesus!" The tomb began to tremble and lightening flashed as the stone rolled away. A Super Bowl touchdown cheer couldn't come close to matching this little one's reaction to the resurrection. "Jesus! He's OK. Mommy, it's Jesus!"

I prayed that she wasn't going to be traumatized by this event, but that she would remember it. I shall never forget it. I shall never forget seeing Jesus' suffering, crucifixion, and resurrection through the eyes of an innocent child. Following the pageant the actors all assembled in the foyer to be greeted by the audience. As we passed by some of the soldiers Bailey, screamed out, "Bad soldier, don't you hurt Jesus."

The actor who, portrayed Jesus was some distance away surrounded by well-wishers and, friends. Bailey broke away from us and ran toward him, wrapping herself around his legs, holding on for dear life. He hugged her and said, "Jesus loves you." He patted her to go away. She wouldn't let go. She kept clinging to Him, laughing and calling His name. She wasn't about to let go of her Jesus. I think God in heaven stopped whatever was going on that day and made all the angels watch Bailey. "Now, look there! You see what I meant when I said, 'Of such is the kingdom of heaven?'" Bailey's reaction should be our reaction every day. When we think of Him, who He is, what He did for us, and what He offers us, we have to say, how can we do anything less than worship Him?

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

Rehearsal for Vegas, thaz all :-)

We haven’t stayed up like this in a minute!
- Started on Thursday evening after jobo, a ka-local discovery
- Strangers following others home!
- Blossom trying to ‘get away’ with a box of Heinez (24 pk)
- C. Blocking the Irish with the marriage vibe LOL
- Friday, Sig & Candy got to the hanye before us, all the way from LA
- The hanye closed before we were done with our drinks so the bouncers locked us down there so that we could finish… how sweet!
- The bash had to go on.. at the hizzle until 2:30 the next afternoon
- A whole kirindi dropped Mirish off at the airport
- Frenchy driving on all the lanes @ a 100!
- Shtundu in the house 
- Maad keroro, its like there was a contest
- CP punching walls heavy!
- Befriending the megs next door and entertaining them sana
- Pool vibes at noon & drunk & disorderly & fully dressed!
- One of the Megs wekaing Frenchy on a leash in the pool LMAO!
- M. being offered a beer & a BJ so he continues pinting!
- Monsta attack on Saturday, had to pretend we were going to sleep

Good times, Good times. Vegas, here we come R U Reydi?