Comfort

Can you ever be so lost that you cannot be found? You are there among people but no one actually "gets" you and you just nod and smile but you are on the outside looking in. Its like a dark cloud that hovers over you and whatever ray of light tries to come through is swallowed by the darkness so intense. The heaviness is a blanket that engulfs you and keep you warm as it alienates you from everything else.
Your way of life is a comfort that keeps you going and its like a shelter you never want to leave. As much as it doesn't make sense to everyone else, it feels like home and nothing else no matter how bright calls out to you.
Its a feeling of great panic, deep in the water, no oxygen but its peaceful even as your life drains out of you. It welcomes you and feels so surreal and you want to get lost in it.
Should you take a chance to find yourself again and risk everything you know? Having to leave the comfort of home? The shelter you are used to?
I wish we could see what could have been without having to wait for it to be. I am sure its a sight to behold but we have to live in the actual moments so that one day they can become memories and something to look back on.
I am listening to the voices and they call out different things, some loud, some soft and I don't know which instructions to heed.
Wisdom is knowing what you can't fight and what battles to ignore!