Quest!

I tend to ask way too many questions and accept whatever answers I get. Is it possible to be lost while surrounding yourself with loved ones, do we ever drift away into the ocean whilst our feet are firmly planted on the shore, can we be in two places at once? I am on a journey, a quest to find that which I’ve been seeking for a long time now, its coming I know but I want to go half way at least. I don’t want destiny to just find me, I want us to come together in a mutual understanding knowing that we both wanted this!
How did I get to this point, I sometimes wonder but no one’s there to answer the question, I doubt that even I, can answer the questions I have because parts of my journey are blurred, its like I walked and walked into nothingness that became something with time. And the questions start here, did I subconciously know that I was looking and I wasn’t wandering as aimlessly as I thought?
I do not want my pursuit to be in vain, the only problem is that I know not what I seek but I know that my heart will identify it to my satisfaction. So I found myself on an expedition I didn’t set out to go on but the more I stay the course, the more I am in the journey, the more joy I find. My morning are always filled with sunshine, my days full of laughter and joy indescribable and I am unable to identify the source but I want to stay in this state forever. I am on a trail full of flowers and I can hear the call of the wild, my blood thirsts for more and is calling out to its mate, I can hear the answer from a distance.
I stop to ask myself where I am headed but realize whatever the answer is, I am not about to stop. The die has been cast and I am following this to fruition and I know its going to be a wondorous sight that awaits me and my heart skips a beat in anticipation, in expectation.
With mild panic I wonder if I am lost, since I don’t know where I am headed how will I know when I stray off the path, does it even matter, is there only one path to the final destination or I can wander about until I stumble on it? Since I have lost myself in this jungle how will I find my way, leave alone find myself again or does the fact that I am on a quest to self discovery negate that?
Now the darkness that was ever so friendly starts to grow legs that chase me around my self created haven! The stars that once glittered in the midnight sky now have terrorizing eyes that watch my every move, the flowers that were ever so beautiful grow menacing arms that reach around me trying to choke the very life I want to preserve out of me. I am filled with bewilderment not knowing how I can save myself from this nightmare, this suffocating state of events!.
And just when my despair was starting to reach new heights of terror, the moon came out from behind the clouds and it was a lovely face with a little smile that comforted me and I heard a voice from a far saying “you are safe, do not be afraid, say good bye to the shackles that hold you back and step forth in faith, heaven awaits thee”. I danced in joy as I rushed forward to the arms I couldn’t see but knew would catch me…….
Have you ever been struck by lightining? I always imagine that it starts at the soles of your feet, a feeling that you cannot understand or comprehend and spreads through the rest of your body to the top of your head. This is where my ‘movie influenced imagination’ kicks in and I imagine that your hair becomes stiff and your eyes bulge out of the eye balls with hands stretched out and the rest of the body stiff.
There rarely is a warning, it just happens I assume since I haven’t been struck by lightning literally. Does everyone have just one ‘the one’ or are there people in life whos sole reason for existence is to confuse you and make you wonder if your future wasn’t meant to have them in it?
I have been struck by lightining figuratively, I was walking along minding my business when somebody came into my life and threw everything into total chaos, made me want things I never thought I’d want again, made me question and change beliefs I’d held on to for a long time. Unfortunately its not meant to be and I really don’t see how it could ever be, a perfect stranger years ago and now there’s this chemistry that’s undeniable at least on my end and no matter how hard I pretend they are always at the back of my mind!
What is it about some people that totally captivates others and starts a fire in the belly that cannot be put out. I have only one option, deny these feelings and move on with life but it seems like I am always on the run from something that could be real.
I hope that my quest will lead to self discovery and I will identify the voice calling to me and figure out what I am leaving behind and who’s call I am answering.

Stay tuned and have yourselves a wonderful Independence day if we don’t touch base until then.

P.S Wilmington here we come, Kenya exiles all the way baby www.kenyaexiles.com Rudge is the other love of my life, all the ‘mafans’ see you in North Carolina!

Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar

Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar

CHORUS:
We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
All of us knowing, love is a battlefield

You're makin' me go, then makin' me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad
It would help me to know, do I stand in your way
Or am I the best thing you've had
Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why
But I'm trapped by your love and I'm chained to your side

CHORUS

When I'm losing control, will you turn me away
Or touch me deep inside
And if all this gets old, will it still feel the same
There's no way this will die
But if we get much closer I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders you'll need me to hold

CHORUS

Long time....

I know its been a long time since I updated the blog, seems like way too much has been happening but of course we’ve had time to hanye… A few memories here and there from weekends past in no particular order.
I am hoping for a nice quiet weekend but we all know (should know by now) how that goes.. the best laid plans…….
 Pencil test at home
 S. dipping in the jacuzzi and shower sharing & our peeping Tom drenched in water 
 Hot tub – mansion on a hill – skin – thaz all
 Hedex head.. woiyee
 Under 18 stripping at Nagi’s
 Trying to get into Club Ivar just to be warned by the bouncer that it was ‘gay night’ can u say last seen!
 Saddleback for Daudi’s b-day and the bull vibe LOL
 The reggae fest was quite a candy fest :-)

All in all looking forward to many more good times. Cape Fear here we come, are you ready?

Inspiration

In the battle of life it is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled,
or where the doer of a deed could have done better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.
Whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions,
spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at best knows the triumph of high acheivement;
and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have tasted neither victory nor defeat.

-Theodore Roosevelt

Brasilian Keroro

So how did this come about? We discovered this drink caipirinha at this brasilian hotspot in downtown San Diego and it packs quite a punch (to quote my partner in crime) so I decided to do some research since in Kenya we have something similar, doesn't taste anything like it but is quite lethal.
If you get a chance try the Boca Loca cachaca (the last 'c' has a guy hanging onto it) LOL so its pronounced as an 's'
HAPPY FRIDAY PEEPS :-)

Cachaça is often called by the misnomer "liquer" but, while it is closer to a "rum" than a "liquer", most rums are made from molasses (and a very few directly from sugar cane juice similar to Cachaça), Brasilian Cachaça is really not a "rum" in the traditional sense but, rather, a uniquely Brasilian product with a distinctive taste that is very different from most rums.
While many Latin American countries also produce a distilled spirit from fresh sugar cane called "Aguardente", this is where the similarity with Cachaça ends. "Aguardente", which means "burning water", is known (and justly named) because of the sharp sting on the tongue and the fiery hangovers from this rough spirit. Not so with Cachaça, which smooth, mellow in flavor and possessing a wonderful aroma of freshly cut sugar cane.
Most Brasilians commonly refer to Cachaça as Pinga. Brasilians who drink Cachaça pure, straight and unmixed (pura) will often purposefully spill a few drops for the saints before imbibing. The first shot of any Cachaça imbibed straight (pura) is often referred top as the guia or guide as it clears the path and leads the way for all those shots that will certainly follow.
Brasil produces about 2 billion liters of Cachaça annually and exports about 400 million liters, leaving approximately 1.6 billion liters for domestic consumption—about 11 liters (3 gallons more or less) for every man, woman and child in Brasil!
No one knows for sure who first started making Cachaça but the earliest report dates to about 1610 in the state of Bahia (then a Portuguese captaincy). Many believe that Cachaça production began soon after the introduction of sugarcane into Brasil––sometime prior to 1550 or less than fifty years after Cabral "discovered" Brasil. Whether accidentally or on purpose, sugarcane juice was allowed to ferment thereby producing alcohol. Eventually, some brilliant (and thirsty) soul realized that distilling the fermented cane juice made it a more potent potable and, therein, Cachaça was born.
In hopes of boosting Cachaça to the heights of acceptance, respectability and especially sales that Mexican Tequila has enjoyed over the past twenty years or so, the Brasilian government has imposed several new Cachaça regulatory measures. In 2001, the then Brasilian President, Fernando Henrique Cardoso, signed a decree that established Cachaça as an official and exclusive name for Brasilian cane alcohol. Not specific enough said the world. So, in October 2003, the new Brasilian president, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva ("Lula"), issued another decree specifying both the names Cachaça and the Caipirinha as strictly Brasilian in origin. Brasil has also sent this issue to the World Trade Organization in the hope that the names Cachaça and Caipirinha will eventually gain intellectual property rights protection under international law. The Brasilian government is also currently involved in negotiations with the European Union in attempts to ensure that the name Cachaça will only be applied to products of Brasilian origin. This may be somewhat unlikely since the Portuguese (a member in good standing of the European Union) produce their own version of Cachaça from grapes.
Cachaça is made from the juice of the first pressing of sugarcane. The harvested sugarcane is washed and then pressed through large metal rollers to extract the juice. The juice is then passed through a filtration process (to extract any cane fragments or other foreign matter) and then on to fermentation tanks. Most often, a leavening agent—such as fubá (corn meal) or rice bran—is added to the cane juice prior to fermentation. Beside producing alcohol itself, the leavening agent also adds its own distinctive flavor and aroma. With most Cachaça producers, the specific leavening agent(s) used as well as the recipe (including fermentation time, temperature, etc., etc.) is a tightly guarded trade secret. Whether or not a leavening agent is added, the sugarcane juice is fermented from one to three days (depending upon the prevailing ambient temperature), then distilled at a steady temperature of approximately 90º C, cooled and filtered to remove any impurities. The first distillation batch is called cabeceira. It is very strong and often used to make liqueurs. The second batch is called Cachaça boa and at 18% proof, it is the batch that is sent on to be bottled or aged. The third batch is called água fraca and at 12% proof is often returned to the next batch.
Much like rum, most fine Cachaça's are aged in barrels of European or American oak or Brasilian amburana, cedar, freijó, garapa, balsa, vinhático,jequitibá or other woods. The aging process yields a Cachaça with a smoother taste and (most often) a yellow or caramel color. The time that Cachaça is aged varies depending upon the barrel size, type of the wood, relative temperature and humidity as well as the storage environment. Brazilian law stipulates that Cachaça must be aged at least one year to be labeled "aged".
Cachaça is the primary ingredient in a Caipirinha (pronounced kai-pee-REEN-ya), the national cocktail of Brasil as well as numerous other batidas (Cachaça and fruit or fruit juice mixtures)