The Bitter taste of betrayal

Written by my guest blogger EMW. Thank you dear :-)

Enter Vince. Perfect all consummate man, who is just revealed his dirty little secret to the love of his life, Allegra...

The question she posed carried even more weight than the box of junk he carried downstairs the night before, resting squarely on his conscience. He suspected the next one would carry even greater weight, "was it good", she pursed the words through her lips, which he could barely hear through her clenched teeth. "Tell me Vince-was she fucking great?". The air around him felt like a boiler, 100 degrees and counting. His sweat glands dribbled to the surface. Images conjured up in his mind. Hanna's scent… The steam from the hot shower scalding against his skin. Both their skins.
"Come on Vince, you've gotta say something! Anything, or are you still soaking
her up", her voice rising with each syllable. "You can't ask me that"
"And why can't I?", you're the one messing up this relationship by sleeping
with someone else, so if you hadn’t done it, I wouldn't have to ask it", declared Allegra. "Ok. No she wasn't. Obviously not?"
"Don't lie to me Vince", as she edged closer waving the accusing finger. "Don't freaking lie to me".
"Please hon, I just told you. It just happened once...and.....we were both drunk...and", he stuttered, feeling the pressure to reveal everything yet
cautious to not set off the ticking time bomb that was her emotions. "Stop swallowing the truth Vince. Just say it. You slept with her for the entire weekend and you loved every minute of it and now I'm going to tell my naive loving girlfriend, who's by the way is going to forgive me and kiss me and tell me that all men make stupid silly mistakes which should not ruin our perfect drama-free life", chimed Allegra ,with a falsetto mocking tone,
"you just had it all planned out didn't you?"
"Now just wait a minute.."
No longer had he started giving his rebuttal when he watched her eyes well up, tears slid down her cheeks like the trickle of morning rain against the clear glass of the window. He made an attempt to reach out to her, but she threw a fit, her arms waving him off, as she backed into the porcelain jar by the cabinet. It did a slight jig, left ,right, lingered for a second then tumbled over as it smashed on the cold hard concrete.
"Shit!shit!shit!", she cursed, " look what you made me do".
It lay in pieces, spreading out into the kitchen. She hesitated for a moment, holding her hair back against her head.
"I'll go get something to clean it off", offered Vince.
"No Vince-forget it. I'll clean up the mess myself.....this whole fucking mess". Vince in tuned on the last expletive as referring to the relationship that was about to crumble. She took a moment to compose herself. The silence made it stretch out, for what seemed like an eternity. Vince knew he wanted to apologize a million times over, perhaps to make her believe how sorry and heavily it weighed on him. But he feared, because he now did not know what to expect. How she would react or whether it would make her emotions spiral out of control. She finally gave him a look, and looked at him deep. She felt the turmoil rise within her, suffocating her ability to reason, make a conscionable effort to listen to his silly excuses and anything he would offer in the form of an apology. She felt the stuffiness around her face, the flush of redness envelope her cheeks.
"I can't do this now", as she wiped the stream of tears around her chicks.
"Not here. Not today Vince. I just need you to leave......now".
This is what he feared.
"Please honey, just listen, just for a second', continued Vince. He felt his heart race, yearning to break free from its host: to escape the guilt that swelled within his insides, choking on the words to express his pitiful remorse.
"No Vince. You just feel different. This whole thing feels different. I thought about this happening to Nancy or Louise, but not me. I never thought you would do this to me. You are just not the same person I knew an hour ago. Please don't make this any harder than it should be", as she took a couple of steps away from him, cautiously treading on the debris. She reached for the door and flung it wide open.
"Please leave right now.......just go."
The moment fastened within his mind. He thought about life and the many doors he felt himself getting pushed through, but never did he imagine it would come to this; getting pushed through this one, by the one person he cared about with all his heart. He feared what it meant. Whether the world and all its worries and troubles would swallow him up, together with the pain he brought to her and the guilt he was about to lug with him. He took one last look at her and realized that each second that passed with him in her presence, the more pain he registered in her eyes. He felt the weight of the imaginary duffel bags around his ankles as he took his first few steps closer to the abyss, into the world where liars and unfaithful men trod the
earth, lost and searching for redemption.
He stole one more glance as he passed by her, the wetness of her blushed cheeks almost palpable. She looked at him one more time, then turned away, as though she would turn into a pillar of salt if she held it any longer. The air of betrayal suffocated any hope to make her realize how sorry he was, and she felt weak to entertain it. No sooner had he stepped out on the patio, did the door slam behind him, followed by the muffled, intermittent sobs from within. He could now feel the pain pierce his insides. He hated seeing her cry, but this time it burned because he was the one that had caused it all.
He stood there on the front porch, recalling the exchange that was a minute ago. The chill in the air was unwelcoming. The oak trees on her front yard, standing tall, firm, Impenetrable, representing everything that he wasn't. It was unusually windy. He watched the rippling effect of the tiny air pockets carry up the leaves and everything in their paths, scattered in places that felt strange and unwelcoming. Places that he himself did not want to go, but possibly had to reside. The reality that was, this was the life without her.
He rubbed his palms together and hesitantly made his way through the wind, reviewing everything in his mind. How it happened. She didn't even give him a chance to make his case.
But the damage had been done and things would never be the same between them........