Bloodthirst

A raging madness begins
Hunger beyond words
A thirst that cannot be quenched
A frenzy starts within, not to be satisfied
Absolute madness, so paralyzing
The craziness builds momentum each second
The intensity completely overwhelming!
Its uncontrolled and fear threatens
But the craze is too powerful to be calm
There's no balance and all is lost!

Transformation

Actual change is a journey, becoming a better version of yourself is daunting but with courage and time it can happen. Its a slow and gradual change and often times painful but we need to be open to the experience and look forward to the future. Endless nights of tears finally reveal who we really are inside and after all the 'crap' has been washed away then we can emerge as a butterfly out of the cocoon.
The anchor keeps us steady and when we are used to everything we need to question our comfort and if need be raise the anchor and float free for a while before we settle. The newness scares us but we need to trust as we drift around that when the right place comes into our view then it will be time to drop anchor once again. We have to strive not to take anything for granted and always be ready to move on if we need to, instead of just being comfortable and settling for whatever is handed to us.
When we don't move, we don't grow, we don't progress. Its good to standstill sometimes and contemplate our next move but we shouldn't be afraid of new experiences. Nothing should hold us in place unless we are happy and when we look back we won't have any regrets.

Comfort

Can you ever be so lost that you cannot be found? You are there among people but no one actually "gets" you and you just nod and smile but you are on the outside looking in. Its like a dark cloud that hovers over you and whatever ray of light tries to come through is swallowed by the darkness so intense. The heaviness is a blanket that engulfs you and keep you warm as it alienates you from everything else.
Your way of life is a comfort that keeps you going and its like a shelter you never want to leave. As much as it doesn't make sense to everyone else, it feels like home and nothing else no matter how bright calls out to you.
Its a feeling of great panic, deep in the water, no oxygen but its peaceful even as your life drains out of you. It welcomes you and feels so surreal and you want to get lost in it.
Should you take a chance to find yourself again and risk everything you know? Having to leave the comfort of home? The shelter you are used to?
I wish we could see what could have been without having to wait for it to be. I am sure its a sight to behold but we have to live in the actual moments so that one day they can become memories and something to look back on.
I am listening to the voices and they call out different things, some loud, some soft and I don't know which instructions to heed.
Wisdom is knowing what you can't fight and what battles to ignore!

Letting Go!

I feel your hand slipping out of my grasp
I try to hold on but deep inside I want to let go
The pretense makes the grip softer and softer
And eventually we slip apart
There's a moment of panic as the reality of being separated sinks in
I am falling with no support and I struggle with my new found freedom
Is this what I really want?
My hand was so heavy for so long and all I dreamed about was having it back
But now that I have it to myself, its lonely
I want someone holding it, holding me; but what am I willing to give up?
Can I hold on to the freedom and give it up at the same time?
There are no tears to shed, just a deep sadness.
A part of me is slowly dying while I am being reborn
As painful as it is, I am curious to see who I become....

Transitions

Changes come when we least expect them, we might not be ready but we are left with no choice and we either embrace the change or struggle against it and tire ourselves out and eventually give up. I have learnt that burdens or difficulties are blessings in disguise and once we open ourselves up then a wealth of lessons is in store for us.
The people that walk the journey with us are the major blessing and lesson, some we wouldn't have given a second chance to even speak to us but in the moment we have to be patient and waiting gives us a chance to actually discover who they are. We don't ever walk away the same when we give them a chance to share a part of themselves to us and if we open ourselves up to the experience then we have an opportunity to offer something as well.
Transitions are what make life interesting, the different people that walk into our lives and how long they stay and what they leave behind. Some are there for just a short time and take away more than they bring in and others are there for a longer time and leave nothing then there are some that give and take equally.
What we have to take away from each experience is just the positive, whatever made us smile in the moment then we keep. The rest we discard with those that leave!

My journey - London to San Diego by Jeremie

Its my great pleasure to introduce Jeremie our guest blogger for today with help from Kabz, as he shares his journey with us.

Enjoy,
SM

It has been an amazing transition period from living in London for the last eight years to now living in San Diego, California. Here I come, pacific ocean ready for the sun and tan. Sunny skies compare to the snow filled dreary days and now the sun in my soul can finally shine out and reach everyone around me. The endless amazing roads just reach out and touch my heart. I want everyone to find happiness and discover the road that leads them to absolute bliss.
I have met and been with so many good friends and family in London but I must admit the recent relocation to San Diego has enabled me to make friends that have made this transition smooth. I would encourage everyone standing on the ledge to take the leap of faith, new adventures are so much fun. Fear not, for the road ahead holds wisdom, what an amazing experience! The friends we make now are our wealth and a mirror to look back unto what the past has bestowed upon us. What a gift! Let's give thanks.
We cannot forget where our roots are, for in doing so we not only forsake ourselves but those that came before and those that come after us. As much as we live our lives abroad, let's always take a moment to think of our homeland wherever that may be and keep in touch. Our past is our heritage, a book of reference, a guiding light to what is worth pursuing and all the lessons we learnt as we grew up. As good or as bad as our journey gets, it shapes us into better individuals and the challenges mold us into stronger people. Looking back actually makes for a better experience.
Looking forward to my journey, I cannot wait to discover what is hidden and the joy I behold as I figure out the oyster that is life. We must look at life as an obstacle course and whichever hurdles come along, we must take them straight on without fear of failure. If we do fail, we pick ourselves up and continue racing towards success. Wherever our journey takes us, we can be proud in knowing that whichever route we took we gave it our all and the gems we discovered along the way stay with us forever. Keeping in mind that there are those that may hamper our efforts to succeed in life but we must persevere. For instance, our forefather fought for our freedom from the shackles of colonization tirelessly; for some it might have taken too long but the freedoms we enjoy came from those that didn't give up.
Friends open the door way that makes for a better life and knowing them only makes for a richer experience and this is our gift.
Shout outs and blessings to the peeps that made my experience a walk on the beach.

Darkness Calls

The abyss is dark yet it presents a calming welcome that just draws me in and seems to call my name in the gentlest of whispers. I have to be careful not to lose myself in the darkness that falls on me like the softest cashmere blanket. "Relax in my embrace", it says but something warns me that the whisper covers up the deceptive tone and I must fight to find myself in the maze. I will reinvent myself, grow stronger and not tire as I find my way out and overcome the helplessness. This loneliness and hopelessness is a heavy blanket and the dark calls so seductively for me to lay my head down for just a minute. I move back from the edge of the abyss knowing I fight for more than my present freedom but for a future that doesn't involve gazing into the dark eyes that beckon, ever so temptingly.

Knock Knock

If you shut the door, I will knock gently.
If you turn the lock, I will respect your privacy and not break down the door.
Until the key turns the other way then I will stay on the other side.
We sometimes open the door without looking through the peep hole
And allow 'characters' in that have no business being in our home!
We invite danger and insanity into our lives unecessarily.
We must protect ourselves from intruders and those that wish us harm at all costs,
even by being rude and not answering the knock.
So keep the door locked even when the knocking get louder and louder.